BHIF: SAUNA DREAMS WORLD PREMIERE
Stay awake for your colonoscopy. Zabars. Exclusive access. The Oldest Old Jewish Man. No box no problem. Shine on little Diamond.
Welcome to BHIF for Friday June 14, 2024. Baruch Hashem (Thank God) It’s Friday is The Old Jewish Men weekly roundup where we get to all the crap that actually matters in the world. Obituary winners. Matchmaking. Market watch. Marketplace finds. Complaint of the week. You get the picture.
Sauna Dreams!
Finally, exclusive access to newsletter subscribers. Come to the free screening of Sauna Dreams, an Old Jewish Men production, at Film Noir Cinema on Sunday June 30th. This RSVP required! Q&A to follow.
And Other Events
→ Alfargos MarketPlace: We will have a booth this weekend on Friday June 14th from 6-10pm and on Saturday the 15th from 11-6pm. Location is NeueHouse Madison Square. Save on shipping for Father’s Day. No RSVP. Just show up.
→ Sauna Dreams Screening at Reunion on June 19th
People
→ Obit of the Week: Morrie Markoff (110)
The Oldest Jewish Man in the world has eaten his last pickle at the age of 110. Morrie was sharper than an insulin needle up until the end. He maintained his own blog, and was generally upbeat. Those close to Morrie remember him for his lucidity. He read the Los Angeles Times front to back, had strong opinions about the war in Ukraine (first we’ve heard about it!) and most importantly “really wanted to live”. Is it surprising that the key to longevity is more likely than not, the will to live? Well, that and kasha. Kasha, if you didn’t know, balances the blood sugar and is also high in protein. Eat that instead of white rice and your A1C will thank you.
→ Old Jewish Men Around Town
Dani Luv swinging it out at an exclusive Shavuot party in Park Slope. Some call it a miracle, others call it Ozempic. But either way Dani dropped almost 75 lb in the last six months. The key? Replacing raisins with grapes. Who knew that raisins are a leading cause of obesity in Lower Manhattan Jewish-steakhouse crooners?
Happy birthday, Saul. At 96 Saul is still everything you hope he would be. Demanding, impossible to please, and rules the deli counter with a Machiavellian fist.
→ OJM Look of the Week: Jason Diamond
Shine on you little Diamond. Mazal Tov to our friend, future OJM Jason Diamond and his new kid. Not sure if it’s a boy or girl. Doesn’t really matter for the first three years anyway. The real reason Jason made the newsletter? THE SHIRT.
Marketplace
No coffee table or toilet-top is complete without the Old Jewish Men’s Guide to Eating, Sleeping and Futzing Around. No, not until it’s out in September 17th, but pre-order it now.
→ Moose Menorah ($50, Old Bethpage NY)
We’ve never seen one quite like this
→ Classifieds: Need more customers? Need a date? We don’t care what it is! Reach over 7500 subscribers (half even open the emails!). Email info@oldjewishmen.net.
Weekly Mishmash
→ Market Roundup
S&P 500: $5418.69
Hebrew National Beef Hot Dog: $6.49 for 6 ($1.08 a piece)
NIS/USD: 3.73
Doctor Browns Wild Cherry: $1.58 (in a case of 36)
A gallon of paint: $14.54 (in a case of 11)
Costco Cashews: $16.99 (2.5 lbs, unsalted, organic)
Russ and Daughters Black and White Cookie: $3.50
→ Joke of the Week: Mort Saul
“My life needs editing”
→ Complaint of the Week: Herman Geick (VT)
I can’t keep up with the amount of links I'm sent by friends and family members. It’s not something that I thought about until recently, how difficult it is to read and watch everything. I calculated it recently the other day, and have come to realize that if I read and watched everything that’s sent to me on a daily basis, I would only have approximately half the day remaining to go about my business. That’s not very much time. I find that we have to be very careful with how we interact with news and media. Very careful. Most of it is useless. It might not be a bad idea to tell those close to us to only send important things so that we know to pay attention to them.
→ Ask the (Eastern Standard Time) Rabbi
Fri Jun 14:
8:29pm: Shabbos begins
9:44pm: Double Mitzvah Time (make sure she’s satisfied for once)
Sat Jun 15:
3:33pm: Post Lunch Double Mitzvah Round 2 (now it’s your turn to get your rocks off)
9:20pm: Shabbat ends
That moose menorah is great. It had to have immigrated from Canada 🇨🇦