As Russian borscht reserves wane they have no choice but to: invade Ukraine!
Sol Rosenstein has another hot take!
Listen. I was on the road selling used anal beads for thirty-six years, so I’ve seen a thing or two. And it’s clear as day - Putin is gonna invade Ukraine and take over their borscht reserves.
Why hasn’t he yet? That’s probably what you’re wondering. Good question. I could ask why you haven’t gotten off your couch yet today. Another good question. But you will eventually right? See what I mean?
Even my schmuck of a nephew can see the writing on the wall, and that kid’s as dumb as dirt. Seriously. His mom (my sister Ruth) made me take him golfing yesterday. Kid could barely understand the rules. I’m telling him–listen kiddo, get the ball in the hole. Use this stick. Can you wrap your head around that?
Anyway in the car ride home I turn on the radio and they’re talking about how Russia is building up troops on the Ukraine border. And my dumbass nephew goes ‘well obviously they’re not fucking around… you don’t keep a hundred-thousand men sitting there in the middle of winter if you’re not serious.’
See? That kid’s dumb, but even a broken clock, right?
Let me tell you something else. When Russia invades, nobody’s gonna do bupkis about it. US might slap some sanctions on them, boohoo. Europe might too… except guess what. Bet you didn’t know that Russia supplies 35% of Europe’s natural gas! You think Europe’s gonna bite the hand that feeds them? My nephew actually tried that once. He was thirteen. The waiter had to get five stitches.
Anyway. Take it from ol’ Sol. Writing’s on the wall.
Subscribe to make sure you don’t miss another hot take from retired traveling anal bead salesman Sol Rosenstein: