BHIF: Brooklyn Sauna Olympics...
Phil Roth IRA. Eli's last day. One month left. Rabbi Butman. Karen in OJM. Dave does Vayner. Dead-stock. Brooklyn Sauna Team. Diamond. NYT Approved.
Welcome to BHIF for Friday August 16, 2024. Baruch Hashem (Thank God) It’s Friday is The Old Jewish Men weekly roundup where we get to all the crap that actually matters in the world. Obituary winners. Matchmaking. Market watch. Marketplace finds. Complaint of the week. You get the picture.
Obit of the Week: Rabbi Shmuel Butman (81, NYC)
Crown Heights Lubavitcher, Rabbi Shmuel Butman, tips his yarmulke at 81. Butman was the front-facing spokesman for the black hat movement during the Crown Heights riots of 1991. With that smile how could he not be?? Butman is responsible for scraping together the cash and striking the match for the world’s largest menorah. Amongst other things , Butman will mostly be remembered as that guy with the long grey beard in Crown Heights who isn’t the Lubavitcher Rebbe.
Old Jewish Men Style
Sammy D blocking out the world with huge earmuff headphones. He’s a man who takes selfies seriously, which is why he hauls-in the big bucks. It’s hard to argue with Jew over six foot who’s man enough to wear bright pink shorts. Respek.
Karen making a surprise appearance at her local OJM hotspot wearing some new headgear. Moments after this picture was taken, Karen went inside to purchase the last cafe donut of the day.
Old Jewish Men Around Town
Oddly enough, Vayner Media invited Dave to come hangout at their office. Dave made sure to bring a bag of OJM NAP dead-stock to handout to the troops.
NYT Style Writer, Alex Vadukul showing off his advanced copy of The Old Jewish Men’s Guide to Eating, Sleeping and Futzing Around. Vadukul has already declared the OJM Treatise, “surprisingly readable.”
Eli pictured with Dave, one of his OJM heroes, on the last day of his OJM summer internship. What did Eli learn from his time toiling at the OJM Offices. “Uhhhh,” Eli said. “Forging government documents isn’t as hard as I thought?”
News
→ Who Wants a ‘Man in Finance’?, The Atlantic
“I’m looking for a man in finance. Trust fund. Six-five. Blue eyes,” is the most overplayed played song of the summer. Height is great, but don’t trust guys over six foot one. They’re like beautiful women, they never had to develop a personality. There’s nothing wrong with a five-six accountant with a well-funded Phil Roth IRA.
→ My Travel Tips for Seeing the World’s Best Places, NYT
This guy Kristof sure has a lot of energy. Hard to believe that a guy who writes for a living has actually done any of this stuff. Agreed, that it is a good idea to pack light . Unless you’re traveling for a wedding, there’s no reason to check a bag. Pack a few pairs of shorts, some easily replaceable Costco socks and don’t worry about hygiene. It’s a vacation. There’s nothing wrong with going to another country and stinking it up. Americans already have a terrible reputation, so who cares?
Marketplace
This week we’re featuring extremely oversized items.
→ Rare 1979 13” Matchbook ($496 OBO, Asheville NC)
→ 1978 Monumental Yellow Crayola Crayon ($1600 OBO, NYC)
One month to go. If you haven’t picked up your copy it’s time to pony up the cash!
The Old Jewish Men’s Guide to Eating, Sleeping, and Futzing Around (out September 17th) now comes with a very special pre-order gift. Most book pre-orders get you bupkis or at most a PDF of crap, but we’re now offering a free bagel spreader!
No coffee table or toilet-top is complete without the Old Jewish Men’s Guide to Eating, Sleeping and Futzing Around.
→ Classifieds: Need more customers? Need a date? We don’t care what it is! Reach over 7500 subscribers (half even open the emails!). Email info@oldjewishmen.net.
Weekly Mishmash
→ Market Roundup
Dow Jones: $40563.06
Average price of a 4bedroom home in Zichron Yaakov: 4.3m shekels
NIS/USD: 3.68
Bottle of seltzer in Jupiter Florida: $3.27
Single shot of vodka in Manhattan: $11
→ Joke of the Week:
→ Complaint of the Week: Michael Druckman (unknown location).
I went to a restaurant the other day in the city and I ordered some hummus and a few other dips. I ran out of pita and asked for a few more. I got charged for additional pita. Insanity.
→ Ask the (Eastern Standard Time) Rabbi
Fri Aug 16:
7:52pm: Shabbos begins
9:44pm: Double Mitzvah Time (she’s really getting her money’s worth from those acting classes)
Sat Aug 10:
3:33pm: Post Lunch Double Mitzvah Round 2 (need some seltzer first)
8:34pm: Shabbat ends (about time)