BHIF: Every Doug has its day…
Blinken wins big. Welcome home, Evan. Selena can't get enough. Lookin good Fridays. Bobby Zimmerman. The visionary designer.
Welcome to BHIF for Friday August 2, 2024. Baruch Hashem (Thank God) It’s Friday is The Old Jewish Men weekly roundup where we get to all the crap that actually matters in the world. Obituary winners. Matchmaking. Market watch. Marketplace finds. Complaint of the week. You get the picture.
Visionary Spotlight
It’s never too late to dream. Bob, OJM’s in-house designer often likes to clarify that he’s not exactly a genius, but rather, a visionary. Bob is a man who transforms his trips through mysterious places like Santa Cruz and South Florida into original designs. Well, Bob’s vision spread across the world this week when the most followed woman on the internet Selena Gomez wore one of Bob’s famous pickle princess shirts.
A rare photo of the master designer at his desk in Park Slope, Bk. What should Bob design next?
Bob is inspired by many things, but only Diet Coke, scotch and the occasional Marlboro Red can really drive that creative muscle.
Selena Gomez alone in her bedroom. Snapping a clandestine selfie is exactly what Bob had in mind 25 years ago when he set out to make the “perfect” pickle princess shirt.
Special Events
Shabbos Dinner. Aug 9th. 6PM. Williamsburg. What’s in it for you? One hell of a spread. Do the math. If you can find better value elsewhere, go there. But it’s hard to beat this combination of intergenerational banter and gourmet grub. What’s on the menu? Relish trays, brined chicken, pastrami salmon, kasha varnishkes, followed by desert and a grease fire. Click here to reserve.
Old Jewish Men Around Town
Old Jewish Men Style
Dave modeling for Bob.
News
→ Second Gentleman Doug Emhoff’s Insatiable Fanbase, Vanity Fair
Every Doug has its day. It’s about time that men named ‘Doug’ got some time in the limelight. Historically, there haven’t been many. And of those who have dug their boots into the swamps of history, most are overlooked athletes: Doug Flutie, Doug Christie…role players and fellas who never won the big one. In fact, as good as Doug Flutie was, he will always be remembered less for being a capable quarterback and more for being undersized (and quite hirsute).
→ Evan Gershkovich Lands in US After Prisoner Swap with Russia, NYT
The worst thing about being freed in a prisoner swap? You have to spend a night in Turkey. While Evan was thrilled to be released from a 16 year sentence in a Russian penal colony, no one told him that spending a night in Turkey, before landing in Washington D.C. was part of the deal. “Not chill,” he reportedly told hostage negotiators. When asked about conditions in the Russian penal colony and a long stint in solitary confinement, Gershkovich said that solitary confinement was a “nice break from small talk,” but the physical (and psychological) torture got a little old.
Marketplace
This week: Jewish couple/wedding artworks.
→ Jewish Wedding Stitch ($25, NYC)
→ Evie Bharucha Fiber Jewish Art ($200, Palm Springs CA)
The Old Jewish Men’s Guide to Eating, Sleeping, and Futzing Around (out September 17th) now comes with a very special pre-order gift. Most book pre-orders get you bupkis or at most a PDF of crap, but we’re now offering a free bagel spreader!
No coffee table or toilet-top is complete without the Old Jewish Men’s Guide to Eating, Sleeping and Futzing Around.
→ Classifieds: Need more customers? Need a date? We don’t care what it is! Reach over 7500 subscribers (half even open the emails!). Email info@oldjewishmen.net.
Weekly Mishmash
→ Market Roundup
Down Jones: $39,856.72
Average price of 1bdrm in Jupiter Florida: $325k
NIS/USD: 3.79
Apricot sours in Miami: $15
Single bottle of Goldstar Beer in Beer Sheva: 20 NIS
→ Joke of the Week: via X
A rabbi gathers his congregation and says: Fellow Yidden, I've figured out why the goyim don't like us. It's because we don't drink vodka. So, I want each of you to bring a bottle of vodka tomorrow. We'll pour all the bottles into a huge barrel and learn to drink like the goyim. Chaim goes home and tells his wife he needs a bottle of vodka for tomorrow. His wife says, bring water, it's cheaper, and they won't be able to tell in that big barrel. Next morning the Rabbi takes everyone's bottle, pours them into the barrel, stirs, fills a cup, and drinks. Yidden, he announces. Now I *really* know why they don't like us.
→ Complaint of the Week: WE DIDN’T GET A SUBMISSION THIS WEEK. WHAT ARE YOU, HAPPY? PFFF
→ Ask the (Eastern Standard Time) Rabbi
Fri Aug 2:
8:10pm: Shabbos begins
9:44pm: Double Mitzvah Time (if she doesn't have a headache…)
Sat Aug 9:
3:33pm: Post Lunch Double Mitzvah Round 2 (hot in here, eh?)
8:54pm: Shabbat ends (woof. thank gd)
Okay book ordered! Finally got around to it!
so, do we think Selena's shirt was a gift from her current flame, NJB Benny Blanco?