BHIF: OJM OFFICES ARE CLOSED
OJM GUEST EDITOR AT LARGE. Bagel Spreaders still available.
Welcome to BHIF for Friday August 30, 2024. Baruch Hashem (Thank God) It’s Friday is The Old Jewish Men weekly roundup where we get to all the crap that actually matters in the world. Obituary winners. Matchmaking. Market watch. Marketplace finds. Complaint of the week. You get the picture.
OJM Book Party is Sold Out!Â
However, if someone croaks (either before or during the festivities) we’ll open up more slots at this link.
News
→ OJM is on Vacation
In solidarity with all of Europe that has never worked a day in August in their lives, we’re writing an abbreviated BHIF for today.
→ Men, Your Clothes Are a Bit Boring. Try These Zero-Risk Style Upgrades, WSJÂ
The apparent upgrades are to wear fatigue pants, clunky-soled penny loafers, a popover shirt, a soft modern briefcase, and a long-sleeved olive tee. Why is everyone always trying to get you to shell out for new things? Then they want you to get rid of old things. A psychotic loop that lasts forever.
→ The biggest trends young NYC investors are bullish about — and why, TechCrunch
Women’s health and thieving AI apps that encourage human interaction. How’s that for irony?
Marketplace
Do you need a large Jewish food sign? Buckle up: it’s your lucky day. Some guy in Massapequa has two.
→ HUGE Vintage Porcelain Sign ELI'S MEATS English And Hebrew Judaica ($2500, Massapequa NY)
→ Vintage Goldmans Appetizing Brooklyn NY Original Store Sign 8’x3’ Metal ($1000, Massapequa NY)
→ Classifieds: Want to run your own classified in this very section? Reach over 7800 subscribers (a few even open the emails!). Email info@oldjewishmen.net.Â
Just over two weeks to go!Â
The Old Jewish Men’s Guide to Eating, Sleeping, and Futzing Around (out September 17th) now comes with a very special pre-order gift. Last chance to get your very own free bagel spreader!Â
No coffee table or toilet-top is complete without the Old Jewish Men’s Guide to Eating, Sleeping and Futzing Around.Â
Weekly Mishmash
→ Market Roundup
Dow Jones: $41355.88
Average price of 1bdrm in Park Slope: $1.2m
NIS/USD: 3.63
Can of Diet Ginger Ale in Miami Walgreens: $0.83
Single shot of Arak in Bnei Brak: 25 NIS
→ Joke of the Week:Â
→ Complaint of the Week: Gus (52, Rhode Island)
Why aren’t hotels 24 hours? You pay for a night and then check in at 4 and leave at 11? that’s not even close. You know what that is? A half a day. So how about paying a half-day rate??
→ Ask the (Eastern Standard Time) Rabbi
Fri Aug 30:Â
7:30pm: Shabbos begins
9:44pm: Double Mitzvah Time (enough chit chat, let's get down to business)
Sat Aug 31:Â
3:33pm: Post Lunch Double Mitzvah Round 2 (hmm, she seemed to actually enjoy it for once)
8:11pm: Shabbat ends (phew. Pass the handkerchief)