BHIF: OJM x Barney Greengrass...
ELI ZABAR interview. The Knishes take a bite out of Boston. Is it 1973?? Barstool Sports. Fashion corner. Baby Jew. What's the deal with eggs? Gold Miners.
Welcome to BHIF for Friday May 9th, 2024. Baruch Hashem (Thank God) It’s Friday is The Old Jewish Men weekly roundup where we get to all the crap that actually matters in the world. Obituary winners. Matchmaking. Market watch. Marketplace finds. Complaint of the week. Joke of the week. You get the picture.
News
At last — the (mostly unedited) 40-minute exclusive interview with Eli Zabar, the Charvet-clad master bread baker of the Upper East Side. Filmed at his legendary restaurant, E.A.T., the conversation features a surprise cameo by New York Times star style writer Alex Vadukul.
Click here to watch the full length interview.
Thirty cents a dozen doesn’t sound like a lot, but when you consider how many eggs you poach over the course of a year you might as well sign away your possessions and walk into traffic. You don’t have to be an economist to understand that when eggs go up so does everything else — it’s what’s called an egg by-product. Or is that chicken shit? Gonna need to ask our fact checker, Seymour Gluck on that one.
Luckily, a small town egg supplier like Vital Farms doesn’t really change the big picture — Costco will continue to keep eggs at its current prices HOWEVER you can’t buy more than three dozen eggs per trip. What’s the workaround? Our Senior Poultry Consultant, Harmon Feinwitz argues that the solution, no matter where you live, is to OWN the source: get yourself some chickens. Yes - real chickens, that peck and cluck and shit everywhere and lay eggs right into your hand.
Sports Desk
Brunson fakes left, spins right, bumps that barrel chest to create space and launches a mid-range fadeaway that had no business going in. But nu? It swishes through, the buzzer sounds, and just like that—our Knishes steal Game 2, 104 to 103.
The Boston crowd? Mute. Quieter than a coffin. Shocked. Like someone told ‘em Dunkin was out of cream. And Brunson? Stone cold. Ready for the next one, but don’t back up the truck just yet. We got two more to go.
We showed those green-shirted shysters that New York don’t go down easy. Calm those shakin hands and go relight that cigar — game two is on Saturday pm.
The Sturgeon King loads up on…
The Old Jewish Men’s Guide to Eating Sleeping and Futzing Around…
About goddamn time…
After months of schmoozing and loitering outside Gary Greengrass’s apartment (and slipping sample chapters between slices of sable), Gary Greengrass—the Sturgeon King himself—agreed to carry our book: The Old Jewish Men’s Guide to Eating, Sleeping, and Futzing Around. A landmark event for ‘the cause.’ What’s next?
Getting the treatise shelved in the medicine cabinet at Zabar’s.
The next time you go to Barney Greengrass for a nova scramble make sure to buy the book, or at least tell Gary how great it is.