BHIF: The Great Nosh
It killed him to call. The Meats beat. Thibs is Tossed. Fashion corner. Rumble at the 92Y. Roto Tissi!! Phil Roth Wisdom. Rip off artists.
Welcome to BHIF for Friday June 6th, 2025. Baruch Hashem (Thank God) It’s Friday is The Old Jewish Men weekly roundup where we get to all the crap that actually matters in the world. Obituary winners. Matchmaking. Market watch. Marketplace finds. Complaint of the week. Joke of the week. You get the picture.
Events
The Great Nosh is the ultimate summer picnic packed with NYC’s best restaurants, exclusive chef collabs, immersive art, unexpected Jew-ish cultural connections and plenty of sunshine.
Each ticket includes:
Festival Entry
Picnic tote & limited edition blanket with reusable utensils
All on-site experiences and programming
Complimentary water (stay hydrated out there!)
Food, drinks, and picnic provisions available for purchase from all chef-collab stations and marketplace
More info: www.thegreatnosh.com
Author Noah Rinsky talks about the Old Jewish Men’s Guide to Eating, Sleeping and Futzing Around with Curb Your Enthusiasm’s Jeff Garlin and Rabbi David Ingber. Click here for tickets.
The 2nd Annual Rotisserie Chicken Eating Competition
The date is set for July 20th. The time is TBD. The location is ROMA PIZZA in Park Slope. 85 7th Avenue. Paid subscribers can register for $15 and unpaid subs can shell out $25. Space is very limited. We’re almost capped.
Fashion Corner
Sports Desk
Thibs Tossed Like Day Old Bagels
Knicks Season Recap, by Arthur Stiltz (formerly of the Herald, sometimes at Katz's, currently at the doctor)
Well, there you have it. The 2024–25 season has officially been wrapped, folded, and shoved into the glove compartment with the unpaid parking tickets and the dried-out pens. The Knickerbockers — or as I call them, the Knishes — gave this city something it hasn’t had in years: hope. And like all hope in New York, it was promptly overcooked and dropped face-first into a pile of hot garbage.
They fought. Oh, they fought. Jalen Brunson played with the spirit of a man being chased by his ex-wife’s lawyer. Josh Hart rebounded like someone owed him money. And Donte DiVincenzo — may I never have to spell that name again — hit enough threes to make you believe in miracles, or at least decent scouting.
But now? Now we fire Thibodeau.
That’s right. The one guy who looked like he’d rather die than run a pick-and-roll for Obi Toppin gets canned. Say what you want about Thibs — he coached every game like he was trying to win custody of the kids. He wore the same sweatshirt for three years. His rotations made no sense. But damn it, the players played for him. They bled for him. He’s the kind of guy you hate until you’re stuck with someone nice.
Now it’s summer. The parade never came. Thibs is out. My ulcer is back.
Horace Turnstiles, OJM Beat Reporter
Flushing, Queens - They’re calling it a hot streak. That’s because the Meats went on and swept the Rockies in three games and respectfully split four with the Dodgers. Juan Soto? Well, that Dominican is surely starting to shuffle with the hip flexibility I could only dream of. Like a chandelier in a freight elevator, really. He’s grooving now…and hitting too. He’s got that rhythm back. The question suddenly becomes this: what’s the power of dance?
Here’s a little secret: I’m no stranger to the dance floor myself. Woodstock? I was there. Sure…good times. I only say that so I can say this: nothing can undo what happened in that tent. When the music flows and you’re sippin’ on frozen cocktails with who-knows-what added, your hips have no other choice but to sway and well, that’s baseball. That’s Soto right now. He’s got that rhythm.
But don’t get comfortable and think Soto will carry the Meats all summer long. Nope, not with this team that’s fooled me before. And not with these hips. (I’ve dislocated both….yeah, the left one to a Donna Summer record; the right one only just recently, and I don’t know how. The truth is that my wife has asked me to stop dancing. I ask her to stop bugging me about it. We both keep doing what we do, and, hey, we’re still together after all of these years. Let’s go Meats.
…Around Town
→ Joke of the Week (Louis C.K.)
What happens after you die?" "Lot's of things happen after you die - they just don't involve you.
→ Wisdom of the Week (Phil Roth)
I said the screen will kill the reader, and it has: the movie screen in the beginning, the television screen, and now the coup de grace, the computer screen.
→ Complaint of the Week from our in-house complaint expert, Leecy Davis
Pedestrians or extra points? Any of you who are cultured should be familiar with Death Race 2000 - a courageous art piece which said aloud the silent thought we all have behind the wheel. Yes, it’s a carnal desire having begun with the creation of crosswalks and pedestrian rights.
Why do I bring this up? NYC is a city run by pedestrians who are more feral than the street rats fueled by moldy pizza. It’s ever so tempting to knick a walker right in the butt while they make direct eye contact with you. You’re walking? Well, I’m driving HERE!
I think we, those of us addicted to speed and the sound of horns, should rise up and demand a once per year event where pedestrians count for points. If they cross when they don’t have the sign - BLAMO! FINITO! Whatever sound the hospital monitor makes as your heart gives out…you get it. The day should be diffierent every year so they walk with a slight trepidation everytime they step off the curb.
Jaywalk at your own risk people, and follow me on insta @southerndeadandlovely_ if you’d like more brave, accurate takes like this one in real time.
→ Ask the (Eastern Standard Time) Rabbi
Fri June 5th:
8:06pm: Shabbat begins (chicken again? really?)
Sat June 6th:
9:16pm: Shabbat ends (can we cut it a little short next week?)