Only Lazy People Are Busy
Don’t trust anyone who double books
Busy people don’t say they’re busy. They say they’re booked. There’s a difference. Who do you think is more dependable, an ER doctor or an aspiring screenwriter? ER doctors have every second of the week planned out without a stethoscope to spare. There’s not a fart that isn’t on their schedule. Everything’s accounted for, whether it’s cleaning out a patient’s puss-filled-knee-cap or calling the coroner for a mutilated motorcyclist. If you ask them to get dinner on a Sunday night or to take a look at the rash on your perineum they know how to slot you right in. Aspiring screenwriters couldn’t find a slot if they were comped a month at the Bellagio. Screenwriters? Busy? You can forget it. They’re jammed! A screenwriter doesn’t know where the hell they are or what they’re doing because every waking moment is a panic stricken juggling act of ordering cappuccinos until they fall asleep. Aspiring people don’t have a square-to-spare. Days are spent worrying with no hope of a job or a future or an actual obligation. They can’t make a commitment to a time in a reality that isn’t fully formed. So in some ways, they ARE busy — but that doesn’t mean they wanna look at your perineum. So when someone says they’re ‘in the weeds’ one can assume that they live in a disorganized sub-reality of anxious internet scrolling and a general out-to-lunch, piles-of-laundry-everywhere purposelessness. The good news is that they’re pretty good in bed.
NEW DROP
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MARKETWATCH
SINGLE OF THE WEEK
The doctor is in, ladies. Meet Mike Broukhim. 34. Persian. Proudly bald. Fit. Not short but not tall. Los Angeles resident and psychiatrist WITH a private practice. That’s right, he’s making the big bucks as a top notch LA shrink and will deconstruct your every emotion. Just don’t ask him to take you on a Vancouver getaway. Broukhim is looking for a good time, but will settle for an above average one. An ideal date for Mike could mean going out dancing, shooting rats in an alley, or splitting a bottle of huffing glue. But all jokes aside, he’s loaded. Don’t sleep on this one.
WEEKLY RECAP
Nailed it!