Shul Members say Gussy "one time" Shultz would be a pretty good Supreme Court Justice
Shultz says he'll take the job 'if nobody else wants it'.
When Gussy Shultz showed up for shul this past Shabbos — right before kiddush — he was met with a surprise.
“I didn’t know what the hell was going on,” Shultz told OJM reporters. “One minute I’m eating herring and the next minute people are telling me I’m being considered for Supreme Court Justice.”
Shultz says he was shocked when he turned on his phone after Shabbos and saw a social media blitz, the so-called, ‘Gussy for Justice’ movement, which contained a two year old video of him making an impassioned speech at a shul board meeting.
“It was a shanda,” Shultz says, recalling the moment which some say put him on the fast track to the highest court in the country. “I don’t remember exactly what the problem was, but it was a shanda.”
Shultz, who has been a member at the shul for almost forty years, is best known for taking bets from degenerate congregation members after shacharit.
“Gussy’s always there for me.” says Hal Bernstein. “He waits for me by the kiddush table if I don’t pay on time. He always says he’ll rough me up, one time. I guess that’s where he got the nickname? Either way it’s effective.”
According to long time congregant Linda Bernstein, Gussy’s fire and brimstone speech two years ago centered around the recent quality of the shul spread.
“It was an inspiring moment, especially coming from Gussy,” recalls a teary-eyed Bernstein. “I’m not sure where it came from exactly, but what Gussy said had a tremendous emotional impact on our congregation. He really knows how to reach people when he wants. It’s true. The herring here isn’t as good as it used to be. I think Gussy would make a wonderful Supreme Court Justice.”
The video footage was obtained by an unknown source, who posted to social media along with the hashtag #onetimeforjustice.
THIS STORY IS ONGOING. At press time Gussy was feeling overwhelmed and confused. He also said he’d like to hear what the position pays.