OPENING RANT
If you’ve spent any time sitting on your ass or waiting in line at a coffee shop you’ll notice there’s a major problem with the way people order. You have to listen carefully for it, but if you pay attention (for once in your life) you’ll notice that when they order, most people say, “just a…”
JUST A??
“Just a coffee with a little cream and a sprinkle of cinnamon and a bear claw.” Just a?? JUST A, they say…just a small oat latte with a side of put a pistol to my head and finish the job. What happened to directness? What happened to, I WANT A CUP OF COFFEE WITH TWO CREAMS AND NO SUGAR.
I WANT! I WANT! AND I WANT IT NOW!
There’s nothing wrong with telling everyone what you want because wanting is what unites us as a parasitic species. From one moment to the next we’re wanting machines who want a coffee when we wake up, a shit two minutes later and then it’s time for lunch. Wants change faster than Elon Musk’s Twitter policies and we’ll do anything to get what we want…but only superior specimens like Old Jewish Men are in touch with their deepest wants. If you don’t know what you want you’ll always be a mousy pain in the ass who cowers at coffee shops and restaurants whispering, “just a..just a, just a, just a, just a, just a, just a, just a, just a, just a…
ONLY MACHERS CLUB
Here are some pale machers who had nothing better to do this week than take pictures of themselves in our junk. Before they throw away more money on useless stuff, it might be a good idea to use that cash on a tanning bed.
High quality clothing:
Marketwatch
BOCA TODAY
By Eric Rosen
To be clear, I am a clearance sale shopper. I love a deal more than anyone in the world, and am often lured into buying things due to the fact they are on a major sale. This time, I lucked out and found great Peter Millar sneakers at 50% off. The two models were the “Glide V3” and the “Hyperlight Apollo,” which are both incredibly comfortable. In NYC, I only wore dress shoes by Sutor Mantellassi which are hand-made in Italy. They are stylish, but in South Florida there is no need to be so formal. As a result, have a closet full of fancy shoes which get worn once a year.
Instead, I have a lot more shoes which look like the ones below. My only suggestion is to make the sole darker in color and the shoe would look even better. I wear these sneakers with jeans, technical golf pants or even shorts and they feel like you are wearing butter. They cost approximately $175 retail, but if you are a good shopper, you can find a deal. They come in various colors, but I am not a fan of most of the “dressier” models of Millar. Stick with the sneaker models I mentioned, as some of the driving shoes and slip on sneakers are awful.
THE GUYS WEEKLY RECAP
Like Weekend at Bernie’s the day before they shot the movie….