The active ingredient in blintzes: not the peptaid precursor once believed
Nauseating pastry or buff snack? Scientists have conclusive evidence...
OJM INVESTIGATIVE REPORT
If you avoid blintzes at the deli or appetizing spot in your neighborhood because you always assumed they’re filled with sweet cream cheese (aka jewish rectal nuclear matter), sweat no more. OJM scientists have found that blintz should always be made with farmer’s cheese, which is high in protein (curls get the girls), and light in combustible milk-based dairy product. So if you’re feeling queasy or in dire need of a flushable vessel, this well-researched article should assure you that the plate of blintz you just engulfed is NOT what a blintz is supposed to be. A blintz should be about as volatile as cottage cheese, which is about a 2 on the lactose scale, roughly the same threat level as Bernie Sanders winning the republican nomination.
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OJM SINGLE OF THE WEEK
Autobiography, as scrawled by Mister Morgan himself (@lije.mo):